Flash Fiction

Santa Claus is coming to town! For millions those words warm their hearts on the bitterly cold days leading up to Christmas. For others, however, those six words send a sheer ice shiver down the spine. You are all aware of the propaganda machine behind the “Nice List” experience kids and big kids have each year but have you ever considered what the alternative experience is like? Have you ever known a “Naughty List” kid?

You all sit around and watch films such as the Santa Clause, The Christmas Chronicles, Elf and The Polar Express and see Santa as some kind of hero figure handing out not only presents to the children but warm-hearted advice and expressing love and adoration for all involved right? What if I told you that was fake news? What if I told you that was high paid spin doctors spinning a false narrative and they have been doing just that for over a century now? Even the news articles from the 1800s that showed the true face of Santa Claus have been burned from all corners of the worldwide web and all libraries.

How could one man wield so much power you may be asking, well, he is not only one man. He’s not even human. Did you hear me? He’s not even HUMAN!! From what I have managed to piece together from snippets I have found here and there and the stories past down from my grandfather and his father before him. “Santa Claus” is half angel-half demon. He’s an eternal being who has the power to both reward the good and punish the wicked but here’s the kicker ladies and germs, he decides who falls into either camp and his demon side has been more predominant over the last hundred and fifty years. What does that mean?

Well angels and demons should never be mated, in fact they can’t be in traditional terms. Mr Claus was the original test tube baby, created in the big old laboratory in the sky and the abomination that resulted has been waging an internal war on itself for a millennia. That war is rapidly being one by his demonic side and that means more of us are heading to the naughty list.

Well that just means no one gets presents right? WRONG! That is the fake news narrative to what the naughty list is. Santa doesn’t take away the presents of naughty kids and big kids he takes away limbs, he takes away eyes, tongues, fingers and toes. He takes body parts and his blood lust is growing. Soon it will be unquenching, soon there will be no “Nice List” soon we will all fall prey to the “Naughty List.”

I don’t have much time, I hear the sleigh bells, I hear reindeer hoofs upon the roof of this very radio station. My time is up but its not to late for each and every one of you. Take down your Christmas trees, they guide his sleigh, Rudolph is a myth its the tree lights that guide him to you. Don’t leave out milk and cookies and for the love of God don’t let your children write their letters to Santa.

Oh my God he’s here, his eyes, his eyes glow red. His suit stained with the blood of the innocent. His claws sharpened on young flesh. He’s coming clos…

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